Wednesday, July 23, 2008
My Flickering Mind
Jill Carattini
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Gallery statistics report that the average time a person spends looking
at a particular work of art is three seconds. To those who spend their
lives caring for the great art museums of the world, I imagine this is
a disheartening sight to behold day after day. It would have been
interesting to hear the thoughts of the St. Petersburg curators who
watched as Henri Nouwen sat before Rembrandt's Return of the Prodigal Son for more than four hours.
I wonder how often I am more like the three-second viewer than a
captivated Nouwen, moving through my days with my eyes barely open. How
often am I surrounded by the presence of God, but unaware and
unseeing--missing, in my absence, the bigger picture? One of my
favorite poems begins with the lines, "Lord, not you, it is I who am
absent."(1)
The parable of the prodigal son is typically understood as a story that
speaks to us when we have wandered away from God in belief or
obedience. It is a story we often apply to a specific time in our
lives--a momentous return to faith, a homecoming back to the church, a
particular event that caused us to remember God's grace personally and
powerfully. It is a parable that at one time or another describes many
of us. Perhaps it is also a parable that describes us daily. In the daily struggle to see, the constant battle to be present and conscious of the presence of God in this place, we come and go like prodigals.
The parable tells us that the wayward child had a plan for returning to
his father's house: he would confess his sin against heaven and against
his father, and then he would ask to be treated as one of the hired
servants. He would work his way back into his father's life. But the
father doesn't even give him a chance to fully present the offer. Upon
seeing his son, he says to his slaves, "'Quickly bring out the best
robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his
feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and
celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he
was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate" (Luke
15:22-25). With every symbol of restoration, the father who was waiting
embraces the son who was lost.
Gripped by the intensity of the massive painting before him, Henri
Nouwen found himself becoming "more and more part of the story that
Jesus once told and Rembrandt once painted." Yet in Rembrandt's
painting we do not find the father eagerly rushing out to greet his
wayward son as it is described in the Gospel of Luke. Rather, we find
stillness; we find the parable's characters at rest. Rembrandt slows
our flickering minds to the scene that captures a thousand words for
our daily walk in faith: "Lord, not you, it is I who am absent." In
this scene, the son has returned, and he is kneeling before his father
in his ragged shoes and torn clothes exactly as he is: the one who
insisted upon defining himself apart from his father, the one who was absent. In pursuit of life beyond his father, the child lost sight of life itself.
In the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus bids us to slow down and be
present, to taste and see, to be still and know: the Father is near. He
is here, though we are absent. He waits, though we put off Him off. He
grieves over our wandering hearts and minds, moving in grace to embrace
those who long to see. He is the God who runs to greet his wavering
child, and it is a sight to behold.
Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.
(1) Denise Levertov, "Flickering Mind," The Stream and the Sapphire (New York: New Directions, 1997), 15.
© 2008 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. All Rights Reserved.